Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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