allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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