i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
