toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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