My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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