She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
