How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
