The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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