her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
