Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
