Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
handjob tips. give me some.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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