Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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