How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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