If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
