omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
