she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She tied me up with her honor cords...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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