Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize