just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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