i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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