He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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