Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
