i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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