i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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