Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
