no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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