wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
