My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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