i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
