I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
