I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
