You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
