STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
