yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
