Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
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You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
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Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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