Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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