i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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