I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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