I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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