I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
