I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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