Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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