Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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