life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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