dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
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FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
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Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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