They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
