He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
