Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I could fuck to npr.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
