i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just fell off a train. Bad.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
