hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
