I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My penis needs a shock collar
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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