I swear she didn't look like that last week.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"