If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.