Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...

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  (310): My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one... http://tfl.nu/9s73
  Replies (6) Good night (558) Bad night (1027)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.

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  (269): I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient. http://tfl.nu/pars
  Replies (10) Good night (617) Bad night (2237)
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  (714): View more from California

  i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.

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  (714): i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing. http://tfl.nu/3dga
  Replies (12) Good night (576) Bad night (3572)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song

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  (847): i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song http://tfl.nu/7299
  Replies (48) Good night (1265) Bad night (4959)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.

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  (517): let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it. http://tfl.nu/9qiv
  Replies (2) Good night (2679) Bad night (491)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break

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  (941): still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break http://tfl.nu/6afp
  Replies (9) Good night (4460) Bad night (684)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...

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  (614): So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date... http://tfl.nu/r091
  Replies (10) Good night (1243) Bad night (3776)
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  (585): View more from New York

  In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?

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  (585): In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is? http://tfl.nu/537k
  Replies (13) Good night (3614) Bad night (1240)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Goddamn tequila

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  (306): I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one (306): Goddamn tequila http://tfl.nu/4ri7
  Replies (5) Good night (2118) Bad night (592)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion

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  (206): So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion http://tfl.nu/7dgu
  Replies (7) Good night (1464) Bad night (680)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them

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  (304): The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them http://tfl.nu/pyf8
  Replies (10) Good night (517) Bad night (1091)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know

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  (410): i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know http://tfl.nu/vpyl
  Replies (1) Good night (866) Bad night (284)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago

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  (864): I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago http://tfl.nu/uywq
  Replies (12) Good night (307) Bad night (1178)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.

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  (724): If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant. http://tfl.nu/s61d
  Replies (1) Good night (1181) Bad night (344)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I deserve to be covered in dicks

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  (570): I deserve to be covered in dicks http://tfl.nu/rtn9
  Replies (4) Good night (431) Bad night (246)

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