I wish I could punch you in the face.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers