piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
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Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
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How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful