I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
