I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
