using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
