My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
