Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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